Kids, Parenting

Kids, this bed ain’t big enough for the 5 of us!

I had no intention of posting today, but as I sit here…..in a somewhat extreme state of exhaustion, I am trying to piece together the events of the last 12 hours to see what went wrong. How did I end up here?

I actually thought the evening routine was going pretty well. I had the toddler down at about 7:30pm and I told the older kids to get their butts to bed in about 20 minutes. By 8:15pm they were tucked away (albeit grudgingly) in bed and my evening of binge watching Married at First sight was to commence! I enquired from the husband when he’d be home and he told me to forget that he exists, because it was going to be a long night……and indeed it was….

I took it as a good sign that I randomly found a half eaten bag of chips I must have been hiding from the kids next to the bed in a drawer, and I pressed play.  Toddler sleeps in our bed…there is just no other way. He will boomerang back to us every 3 minutes if we dare try to put him into his own bed. Usually he will sleep through the apocalypse, but it seems Married at First Sight is his limit. Maybe it irritates him? I put it on as softly as I could, but the tossing and turning would not stop. Eventually after an hour of having the TV on pause….I decided to call it quits, get to bed early, beauty sleep and all that.

Toddler usually drinks a bottle during the night….and around 10pm he started stirring. As Murphy would have it, I had just dozed off…..I plonk the bottle into his mouth, but nope….he wasn’t having it. Moaned and I patted him back to sleep. This cycle continued for about 2hrs when I realised that my husband still wasn’t home. Broke as hell…I sent him a please call me, which was fruitless, because he doesn’t read smses. Ever.

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Toddler’s favourite sleep position

At around 1am I wake up to discover I’m feeling a foot…. Did toddler grow so much in his sleep? Nope…it’s the 5yr old lying with his head off the bed, playing footsie with me. I had NO energy to worry about how sore his neck would be the next day, so I left him. Still no husband…I check my phone and to my dismay, I see he’s still at work. I start thinking about my life as a widow…because he’s half an hour out of town and will probably be killed, because this is South Africa after all.

At 3am eventually I hear the car pull up and I hear him trying to be very quiet with getting his clothes. Maybe next time shower with the light off though babes…that glare in my face! Hubby hops into bed, I lecture him about working until after 2am, but at least now I can finally sleep peacefully right? I kid you not…10 minutes later the 8yr old jumps on my legs, pushes my legs away to make herself comfy next to the 5yr old. She then proceeds to let out the loudest fart….onto my defenseless foot….. I am toying with moving to one of their rooms at this stage, but don’t want to leave hubby alone with the toddler who remains restless.

We are literally sleeping like pretzels at this stage. It’s not enough obviously, because toddler then starts crying and screaming…threatening to throw his body off the bed, still refusing the bottle. My poor mom…bless her heart, comes running in, because even she is worried about my husband’s lack of sleep now and toddler goes with her, as quiet as a mouse. Like…WTF????? I then wake 8yr old up and tell her to come and lay between us, because then at least I can straighten my legs out.  I swear she tried to stare her brother awake so he could see ‘she’d won’, because she gets promoted to top of the bed, but thankfully he slept through her silent victory stare.Children_Sleeping_In_Their_Parents_Bed_Royalty_Free_Clipart_Picture_091010-006362-272053

She however ends up lying on top of me and I balance on the 3cm of bed space I have. Literally worse off than having my legs squashed. I don’t even want to know what the time is anymore… I just know I’m flippin tired and I need this night to end…..

So now….I count down to tonight….and pray that tonight these darn kids leave us alone…. you know what, I’m not chancing it…I’m locking the damn door!

What’s your worst sleep deprivation story? Do you play musical beds in your house? Non parents…..enjoy your bed, your sleep, your space….. #MomLife

12 thoughts on “Kids, this bed ain’t big enough for the 5 of us!”

  1. Oh goodness! I had this the first 18 months of my LG life. We co-slept, because we were breastfeeding and it was THE ONLY way I could get ANY sleep. Since we stopped breastfeeding at 23 months, she now falls asleep in her own bed, in her own room. Most nights she falls asleep within minutes. Other nights she has her very own party till 10pm. But the rule is that she must stay in her room, even if she doesn’t sleep immediately. At 4am, she usually comes to our bed. And then dad usually gets the feet in the face. It’s crazy, but I think at the end of the day we do what we need to do to get through the day (night). Good luck, Mama! Soon they will be older and wouldn’t want to be in the same room as us 🙂

    1. That’s exactly what I tell myself, lol…soon they won’t want to be close, so as annoying as it is now, I do cherish them all together. That being said, I was also super strict with my eldest, but after number 2, then 3…..you just kind of lose the plot. lol. Thanks for sharing!

  2. Yup … we’ve been there … still are there some nights. I’ve written about it before, some time earlier this year. It’s so hard. Kids are the worst to share your bed with. For the past two nights it’s been me and the eldest with her ridiculous high fever. No sleep for me either. Hope you have a better night tonight. If my mom were staying with us I’d have a peaceful night sleep every night – they love her more than me! lol

    1. Oh no, so sorry to hear your kid is sick. I’d much rather be kept out of sleep by kung fu kids than sick kids, I hate the stress 🙁 Hope your daughter is much better today. xxxx

      Lol my kids love my mom too, BUT my mom loves her time at night because she is with my kids and my sister’s 8m old all day everyday during the week. She’s a night owl so usually likes to be able to read and play games on her tablet at night…kid free.

      1. Thanks, she’s getting better slowly but the nights seem to be the worst. They’ve been off school for 2 days now and I have had enough! 😂

  3. LOL, I cried laughing all the way through. This was soooo good!!! Milo my four legged baby knows how to occupy the whole bed and she is a tiny Jack Russell, cat imagine three kids with you guys in the bed. LOL

    1. I’m suffering today…. sleep through needs to happen asap! My one seems to be having night terrors or something at this stage. I always just pray for the 2yr mark…my others usually slept through by then. 2 months to go!

      Good luck on your side too and thanks for stopping by 🙂

  4. lol! what a awesome read! My 4 year old, moved his pillow, blanket, dvd collection and dvd player into my room for the cold winter months lol

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