5 Things I won’t miss about the baby years!

I saw a post with this sort of theme somewhere on the world-wide web. If you know where I spotted it, let me know so I can credit the blogger that inspired it. Okay with the disclaimer out of the way….let’s dig in to this post….what I will not miss about my kids growing up and the baby years….

People are in different phases of their lives:

Stage 1: Kids? Yuck. Poop and milky boobs. Never going to be me.

Stage 2: Maybe I should get a puppy! I feel like caring for something! I think I may be broody????

Stage 3: My newborn is here. Beautiful. Perfect. I am the earth mother herself. This child can do no wrong and has completed my world!

OR

Stage 3: My newborn baby is evil and I will never sleep again. Can I die from sleep deprivation?

Stage 4: Maybe it’s time for another baby?

Stage 5: Aww your baby is so cute! No thanks, don’t want to hold him. Don’t have a broody bone in my body. I’m so done with that shit.

I’m pretty much at stage 5. I have been through 4 pregnancies and I have had 3 kids. 3 was my number (well…0 or 3…those were the options, so once we had 1, there was no other choice) and once I reached that number, I knew that I was done. I do not feel broody and I will never feel broody ever again. I look forward to my kids growing up and thriving! This mama is not looking back…..or wishing for time to stand still. Why?

I will never be pregnant again!

I’m not sure if any of you read about my last pregnancy experience over here? If you didn’t let me summarise it for you….my last pregnancy was AWFUL! So awful I prayed to die at times and worse. Horrible admission, but the truth. If you were human, going through a good pregnancy, you were a friend advising me to try ‘dry ginger biscuits’…while I was dry heaving and hadn’t kept even water down for 3 days…..I hated you. I HATED people and life. It was one of the darkest times in my life…and I’ve seen pretty dark times. So I am not one of those women that say: ‘Oh I miss pregnancy’, because I honestly didn’t. And I don’t. And I won’t.

Sleep deprivation is a thing of the past

When I post those annoying status updates about not sleeping, it’s because my brain is busy. Not because a baby or toddler demands that I be awake to feed it, clean its vomit, burp it, change a nappy, etc. On occasion the older child may stumble into our bedroom requiring medication or vomit assistance and that is fine and acceptable. The days on end crying about not sleeping and trying to calculate if hubby had 3 more minutes sleep than me…those days are over!

Toddler poop is gross

My older 2 kids were potty trained a few weeks after they turned 2. Day time. Night time. We did not deal with poop in a nappy when it came to a 2yr old. Enter Adam….*le sigh* Unfortunately toddler poop is still our daily reality, but thankfully the husband knows that I cannot deal with this. He has primarily taken on the role of ‘Toddler poop bum cleaner’ <3 Bless his heart. However, I have added this, because I pray and pray hard….that somehow this stubborn child will decide he wants to use the toilet soon. This is one milestone I am happy to hit and move on from.

Edit: It is Simone from the future! Adam is now very happy to wipe his own poop off his ass…… though that doesn’t always go too well! But yay for the end of nappies!

First day of school anxiety 

There is no greater pride or joy, than the day you send your child to school for the first time. Whether it’s play school or Grade 1. My kids all went to play school at the age of 3 (Adam at 2, because that child needed a distraction from killing my makeup). They then move to another school for Gr. Pre-R and then the last school for Gr. 1. Though I’m realising now we haven’t done high school yet.

After Addison started Gr. Pre-R, we had a parent teacher meeting after the first week or 2. The teacher opened her book to look at her notes and I noticed she had written ‘a loner’! My heart broke into 1 million pieces! There was a lot of crying done. By me.

Joshua started Gr. 1 and I took a day’s leave…to sit outside the school and spy on him at lunch time. I was convinced that he was the loneliest, saddest kid in the world. I left and cried all afternoon until he came home to tell me what a great day he had.

So Adam was the 3rd child starting play school. A LOVELY school that I adore with all my heart. In fact I wish I went to that school. So day 1 was not my first rodeo right? We left him, happy as can be…then day 2 happened. He cried and cried. I left sobbing! I sobbed outside the school for about 3 minutes when the teacher came out to tell me he was fine. Her telling me he was fine, did not stop the sobbing. Oh no, I sobbed at work most of the day too.

Does any of this sound like fun? No…it is not. It gives me anxiety and adds grey hairs to my head. I hate first days of school as much as I love it. I won’t miss the tears. My tears. My kids, they don’t cry. Well except Adam, on day 2 to 10.

I look forward to the future

There are people wishing they could stop time…I’m not one of those people. I want to make sure my kids grow up to be happy and healthy. That they are good kids and good adults. I want to go on spa trips with my daughter….and see which career she choosers (You tuber is currently what she plans to put on her University application)….and I want to plan (um help plan) her wedding. I want to annoy my sons’ girlfriends with the fact that they will always love me more. Don’t you burst my bubble daughters-in-law! Ha ha

These are the reasons I don’t look back. I love the cuteness and the fact that Addison called yoghurt ‘nie-nut’ when she was 1 and how noodles were ‘nunus’. I love remembering what an easy child Joshua was (and still is) and how mute he was, like he was always deep in thought. Adam…we’re not there yet…the rascal is still in that zone with the toddler poop…but ahhh, he was the happiest and easiest baby! Despite the makeup murder, he’ll hold that title always. I loved your baby years my little rascals…..but mama is not looking back 😉

Are you done having kids? Or are you in the broody phase and I’ve now scarred you for life? I’m so sorry. This post, as usual is NOT in collaboration with a family planning clinic….just as always #RealTalk 😉