When I read about body dysmorphia…..this is how I feel about my hair.
Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), occasionally still called dysmorphophobia, is a mental disorder characterized by the obsessive idea that some aspect of one’s own body part or appearance is severely flawed and warrants exceptional measures to hide or fix their dysmorphic part on their person. In BDD’s delusional variant, the flaw is imagined. If the flaw is actual, its importance is severely exaggerated.
Upon googling, it seems as if Hair Dysmorphia is actually a thing!! So yay…I’m not crazy…kind of. The coloured woman has a very complex hair situation. Some of us have straighter than straight hair, others in-between hair and others have what we term ‘fudge’. I’ve always categorised myself as a coloured chick with fudge. I have always hated my hair as I felt I had the ‘worst’ hair of my siblings…of my cousins…of my friends.
Salons, I barely set foot into…I felt like they’d cringe when they started working on my hair, judging me for how horrific my hair was. If my hair was done and I went out…I’d imagined that I looked like Tina Turner and everybody was staring at me. I remember checking my hair about 27 times at my father in law’s funeral, because I wore it down and I was convinced it was huge…and people were staring.
Some tales of hair….
When I was in high school, a ‘popular’ girl and I got into a bit of an argument. I remember that she didn’t have a retort for what I had said, so she said: oh please, look at your hair! (Is hair bullying a thing??)
I used to frizz my hair a lot, because I had good curls. One day I decided to blow dry my hair and a guy friend said to me: You did your hair? So strange…I always thought you had straight hair. *cringes*
My hair NEVER grew when I was younger. I had this shit shoulder length hair while all my cousins had these long tresses. One day, I remember my hair being loose and my cousin made a joke about my hair looking like a samosa. I have always laughed at myself…it’s something I do, so I laughed. It was really funny. But it sucked being the girl with the samosa shaped hair.
Let’s not even talk about the ‘pencil test‘ that I refused to take part in…and then failed when I tried to do it on my own where nobody could see me. I can go on and on, it may seem shallow, but my hair has never been my crowning glory like it is to others. It’s always been a source of shame for me. I know what you’re thinking….really, hair can cut you this deep? As I went into my teens my hair eventually started growing… The long Rapunzel tresses I always wanted….eventually came. That hair stayed in a bun though, all the time.
I’ve been to a few hairdressers…not many though. Remember, I was embarrassed. Most times, I would leave a salon with hair that looked decent, sometimes I’d leave crying. So when Carmen from Blohaute approached me a few weeks ago to come and try her services out, I felt shame and embarrassment. How would she react once she saw this hair?? She will testify, I was like…be prepared. This hair is BAD! Shame aside, I was excited, as her page is littered with amazing hair transformations and she said she knew ‘fudge’. This is a requirement for me, can you work with fudge??? Let me see your fudge portfolio! I must be honest, I think I scared her a bit. Sorry Carmen!
The BIG day
I had an appointment on the 9th of June for 9am. Carmen only works by appointment, so this is FANTASTIC! As Carmen is the owner and solo hair stylist, she will never be overbooked as she schedules her own time. She was right on time and we spoke for a bit before we got started. I had sent her a picture of what I wanted and a picture of my current hair colour, at her request, so she was ready for me. She showed me the colour she’d chosen, and we began! EEEK!
I’m not familiar with hair lingo…she knows…she had to pronounce the word ‘bayalage‘ for me twice, and I still can’t say it. I think I had a straight colour and she added some foils for dimension? The first time I’ve ever gotten foils. Whoop!
We made a bit of a joke, because I had bad memories of a previous hair dresser visit, as they spilled dye (I think) on a new top of mine. Brand new. From Woolworths, back in the day when we thought Woolworths was only for rich people. I bought that top on payday! Hence the hairdresser…. #paydaythings. They ruined my brand new top. No apology. Nothing. So Carmen made sure my top was covered and just so you all know, I left there DYE free! Though I was wearing my mom’s top…just to be safe. 😉
After the dye has been on my hair for a while…I got moved to the basin and the chair…..MASSAGES YOU! I mean, like a spa session and a hair session in one. I am so down for that! Carmen also gives a really good scalp massage. Then a bit of a snip, a blow dry and a few expert flicks of a flat-iron later….. I cannot explain to you the way I felt. I didn’t show it to her, but I got into the car and I FREAKED out with my husband. Never have I felt more beautiful guys.
I am not even joking. Hair is so superficial and truth, I truly find all hair types beautiful on other people. Curls, coils, braids, straight, short, shaved, long…the way I view my hair, the level of judgement is reserved ONLY for my hair. It’s a very weird thing. It has nothing to do with your hair type, this is purely how I view myself.
Kim Kardashian….is that you?
I went to Spar (so fun right?) after I left Blohaute…with this hair of mine. I messaged my sister (the one with the good hair) and I asked her: How do people with good hair act? How do I walk around knowing my hair looks so good? Should I start waving at people? Smile? Am I Kim Kardashian now? I don’t know…it was the first time in my life, I felt that way. Instagram met the obnoxious Simone that day with all the hair pictures. I took about 7 videos to upload, but I decided to spare you all the pain of this girl. With the hair. I may be cured, of this thing I’ve been struggling with! Maybe.
A bit more about Carmen
Firstly, I want to change her name…give her a title: Carmen the hair whisperer? Carmen qualified in 2005, and impressively has been a regional finalist for the L’Oreal colour trophy and has also won the Eastern Cape Bridal Championships twice! That’s impressive stuff! Well impressive for me, who cannot pronounce ‘bayalage’.
I asked her what her pet peeve was and her response was: Clients that hop from salon to salon and then state that nobody can do their hair. They need to give one stylist a decent chance to get to know their hair first.
I think I was one of those, but in my defence….If I had found THE ONE…I would not have found Blohaute 😉
Carmen’s best tip…. Don’t always feel you need to follow trends… Do what works for you.
I think that goes for about everything in life! Gals…if you’re in Port Elizabeth, hit Blohauteup for one of the best hair experiences of your life. She says ‘don’t follow the trends’, but if you’re into trends, I’d go check out the fabulous Rose Gold dye she stocks…and has on her own hair! STUNNING!
Thank you Carmen once again for this amazing experience! Do you have a hair horror story? Do you think I’m insane? Any chance you also suffer from hair dysmorphia?
Disclaimer: I did not pay for my hair experience, but there was no obligation for a blog post. All opinions expressed are 100% honest and voluntary.