Dear Husband…..why I’m leaving….
A few weeks ago, I made the heartbreaking decision to leave the marital bed….. I couldn’t take it anymore. I should not have to live with it. The life I was living…..when the lights go off and the doors are shut….it’s not what I signed up for! As women….as human beings, we have rights….and I was exercising mine. To not put up with the not-so-silent abuse I was dealing with at the hands of my husband…….yes…you know what I’m talking about…. SNORING! I can’t be the only one living this horrible life surely???
How did we end up here?
It was not always like this….. we were young, in love….and when the lights went out and we drifted off to sleep…there was silence. In the last year or so, my husband’s sinus has just become insane. He claims I ‘gave him sinus‘, because he never had it when he was younger. It’s quite bizarre that it developed much later in life…but anyways…um…you can’t GIVE somebody sinus…. Truthfully, the man has not been able to smell for over a year now. It’s bad! He has been on chronic medication after chronic medication. I’m not sure why he has not been referred to an ENT yet, but I’m hopeful that’s our next step. Until then, I live with this…until one night I couldn’t….and I actually went to sleep in another room.
A few weeks ago, I reached my limit. The noise level.…was something I could not comprehend coming out of a human being. Initially I tried to stay… I even amused myself and took about 79 voice notes of him snoring and sent it to him via WhatsApp. Eventually even that fun game wore off and I grabbed my pillows….and I left. I looked back, hoping he’d stop me….hoping he’d suddenly be silent…but no, he let me go….
I can’t believe that I am suffering alone, so I thought maybe best to round-up my top tips for dealing with THE SNORING SPOUSE in the hopes that it will save at least one marriage.
Medicate
Hit the medicine cabinet and medicate….YOURSELF! If I can find something that can make me a bit woozy…….maybe I can get into a deeper sleep and not be affected by the earthquake happening next to me!
Elevate head
Okay so this one is for the actual snorer…..let them elevate their heads. If you wake up and he/she is snoring without an elevated head, shove a pillow under their unsuspecting ass. This will also hopefully wake them, and you may be able to fall asleep before snoring commences again.
Head start
Some nights my husband tries to give me a head start to get to sleep. He tells me when he’s feeling sleepy, so I can put my phone down and I’ve bascially got anything from 39 seconds to 4 minutes to fall asleep. I’m unfortunately not one of those people who can fall asleep on a whim, so usually the timer runs out and with it…my luck!
Shove and abuse
Okay, so this isn’t very nice, but feel free to tap their leg a little bit. The movement may cause the asshole person to shift positions and stop snoring. If a little tap doesn’t work, I start tugging blankets VERY aggressively. I kick, I put my hand on his face and I sometimes elbow him. It’s not nice, he doesn’t appreciate being abused as he sleeps apparently, but frankly my dear…I don’t give a damn.
Cry
If all else fails….I just lay and cry. I can’t even relay how much I HATE snoring and how I can’t take sounds when I want to sleep. A dog barking 3 streets down will wake me up. The minute a series ends, I need the sound to stop…literally jump up and pause, press stop or switch the TV off. I go MENTAL if I have to suffer any sound further than the last scene of the show/movie. Maybe this is like some sort of sound allergy or syndrome I have?
Move beds
As a very last resort….go sleep somewhere else. Even if only to prevent yourself from elbowing your poor spouse to death. Just me? I did that for 2 nights… and hated it, because I can’t bear to be away from Orkie Snorknie….but for my own sanity, I needed to do it. I only stayed away for about 2hrs… usually there’s a settling period and once we hit 2am….it’s quiet sailing!
That’s it for my top tips for dealing with a snoring spouse…. My husband apparently wants to read this post to deal with his own snoring spouse!!?? Say what?? He claims to have the voice notes to back up this accusation. I plead the 5th!
Do you or your significant other snore? Is it a problem for you? Do you have any REAL tips?
*Note all images were taken from Pexels.
22 Comments
Nasrene Sheik
I tell my hubby I’m going to throw him out the window after 1 too many elbow nudges. I also told him that I now understand why you find some older people sleeping in 2 separate beds. I want my own bed…😂😂 I’m also a light sleeper and once my sleeps broken there’s no going back for me.
Simone
This must be a woman thing hey? We just are not natural sleepers like men are 🙁
Aisha
LOL. I absolutely loved this post. Hilarious! But in all seriousness, I’ve been sinus free my whole life, until around the age of 16. It just came out of nowhere! I already had an op as well after going to an ENT but let me tell you, it’s not fun! I’ve been through my fair share of medications, nasal sprays and natural remedies but in the end I’m right back where I started… toilet paper in hand and clogged up like an old toilet, I have severe post-nasal drip too which often leads to infection and the cycle is just awful. What brings me relief is a sinus massage or putting a facial sauna or steamer in my room with some eucalyptus oil and setting the timer for 60 minuets. It dampens the air so it’s easier to breathe and also makes my nose a bit runny which in turn relieves congestion. I would recommend going to the ENT as they can usually pin point exactly where the problem lies. One last thing: diet also really plays a factor (for me at least). I find that boiled egg with black pepper, avo, lettuce and carrots makes me feel less sinusey… it might just be me though? Lol. It might be worth it to keep an eye out on what your husband eats and how he feels after… when I drink quava juice my sinuses goes ham, so I dunno, might be good to look at his diet yanno. Anyway, good luck to both of you! I hope how hard it is to deal with… I hope you find a permanent solution really soon!
Simone
I’ve told him he needs to get to an ENT. Our GP just changes up his meds every 6 months, which to me doesn’t seem like a good long term plan. I am pretty sure diet also plays a role…definitely.
Rajshree
Haha, this is hilarious. Omw, i used to also voice record the hubby until he did it to me. I still say it’s a fake, that was not me (heehee). I just abuse the snorer, turn his head, kick, push and the list goes on.
Simone
LMAO…yes it’s not funny when they turn the tables. I still claim it ain’t me on that voice note either. Ha ha
Venean
Loved this post! Laughed so lekker! I know the struggle but not as well as you fortunately! I remember the VN from you on that one night – hilarious! xxx
Simone
Thanks for reading Venean….lol
Refiloe
I chuckled so hard! I can’t stand snoring either. I’m pretty sure I’ve nudged and kicked and even left the room my cousin and I were sleeping in because she snores! Also sinus issues.
Simone
I cannot stand sound of any type. Snoring is the pits! lol.
Charlene
Hahaha! When I read the first sentence of your post, I already knew what it was about! You are not alone. My husband and I both snore… the one who falls asleep first, is the one who gets the best night’s rest. Ai. My mom and dad has had separate bedrooms for years, and I swear it saved their marriage. Babes, I love your blog!! xx
Simone
Thank you Charlene….I appreciate that soooo much!! <3
Donna
Oh moni what a lekke laugh I had thanks.. Much needed on this Monday morning
Keyshen just needs the occasional nudge or little kick and he stops… So I cannot say I don’t sleep… Caus I do.. But on nights when it’s really bad, I too feel like I need to take my pillow and crawl into Neharas bed.
He also has sinus so yeah.. Some nights it can get hectic.
Still giggling. Loved this post.. You’re hilarious
Simone
Lol…ya I am surprised you would wake up…I feel like you’re the type that would sleep through a hurricane!?? he he
Michelle
Girl, I sooooooo feel you. I have exactly the same problem with snoring AND with allergy to sound. Yes it is a real thing, I have it too. Want to vomit at the sound of angle-grinding etc. Went to a bodywork therapist who recommended I take Wart and Mimulus of Bach Flower Remedy drops in my drinking water and that has helped a lot. X
Simone
Will definitely look out for this. Can I find it at Clicks?
Siobhan Yeatman
HAHAHA! I’ve also voicenoted my hubby the melodious sounds of him snoring. Yoh it can be unbearable!
x
Simone
LMAO….so we all do this voice note snoring thing???
Janet Perry
I’m in the same loud snoring boat 😤😤😤 and it drives me crazy (not in a good way). The only thing that helps a bit is nudging him to roll onto his side when the snoring eases off a bit. How come it’s mainly men who snore like this!? Looking for solutions definitely!! I think there are foods that affect it, but can’t put my finger on it yet. Eish good luck!!
Simone
Ahh good luck to you too Janet! It’s insane how some people can sleep through noise and snoring…and others (like us) are almost homicidal because of it!
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Yolandi North
Oh, my word. This post made me nervous at first (when I read the header) & then it made me laugh so much!!! Sadly I am the snorer in our marriage. And we have also now (unofficially) decided to sleep in a separate bed. It’s a real struggle.