‘There’s nothing we can do’ – Caleb’s story….. {Sensitive post ahead}
By now, you all know the story of the day I was somehow willed home, and we found Adam standing on the 2nd step of our pool. I start getting heart palpitations when I think how close we came to losing him. We didn’t lose him, but the guilt and the feelings stay with me. To such an extent, that I seem to seek out the stories where our ‘almost hell’ is somebody’s actual hell. I’m not sure why I do it, because I sob and my heart breaks. Maybe punishment, to make me realise that I need to do better as a parent? Maybe I want to feel their pain, because I know it should have been my pain….and I feel guilty, that I have my child…and somebody doesn’t?
I was scrolling through Mamahood one day and I came across a post that broke me. And made me lose my breath. Not only did Sherry-Leigh lose her beautiful boy, but he was born less than a month before Adam. I knew her Caleb should have been running around….around the same size as Adam. With the same energy levels as Adam…..but he isn’t. I hesitantly reached out, just to chat….find out if she was okay. I think if I was a grieving mother, I’d just want to be heard, and I’d want to use our story, to help or save another child.
Meet Sherry-Leigh
Sherry Leigh agreed to tell her story and share it with us, in the hopes that it could save another child. Just one little life saved, is a win. Even better……not one more drowning…..never again…. I wish for that, because these stories just break my heart.
I met my husband in 2009 just after finishing school and we were blessed with our first son, Hunter, born on 9 Sep 2012. Less than 3 years later Caleb was born on 23 July 2015. The boys were inseparable from the first time they met in hospital after Calebs birth.
That day…
With every passing day, I wish I had just done one little thing different. We have a routine in our house, 4pm is bath time (especially on cold days). On 19 April 2017, I made rice and mince for supper and instead of letting the boys bath at 4, I thought I’d let them eat first, because I knew supper was going to be a messy affair. I dished up for them, and the boys asked to go outside while the food cooled for a bit. Then I made Caleb’s bottles. I was watching them play through the kitchen window… They weren’t even outside for 10 minutes when I called them in. Only Hunter came in when I called. Told me his boetie was inside the house. At that very second I felt my heart drop. I ran outside and found Caleb already afloat on his tummy.
No ambulance or doctor even attempted to help my baby!!! No effort at all. Just the words “There’s nothing we can do”. All I wanted was for somebody to at least try. Why wouldn’t you want to help a baby??? Even if they couldn’t resuscitate him, it would have meant so much more to me that they at least tried instead of everyone just pulling their shoulders up…….
Is there any lesson you feel that came from this experience?
The lesson that came from this I think would be, no matter how well your kids can swim or however comfortable they might be with water/pools, to never take it for granted and to never turn your back on kiddies playing outside. Yes, you might think that having a fence or pool cover serves as security from the water, but if a child wants to get to the water, they can. Life is short, you never know what tomorrow, or even the next 10 minutes holds, so cherish, love and protect your babies, they depend on us.
What is your favourite memory of Caleb
Wow which one isn’t my favourite. I have, literally thousands of photies of Caleb. He was my life and we spent every second of every day together for all of his 21months. He gave the warmest of big hugs and softest little kissies. His eyes were always sparkly and he had the most beautiful smile. I miss everything about him, but I think what I miss the most is definitely his “I love yoooouuuus” , a last late-night goodnight kiss and waking up in the morning to ” mama…milo, bum(nappy change) and lê ( warm early morning cuddles)”
How do you plan to preserve his memory or legacy going forward?
To another parent that has gone through this, what do you have to say to them?
Accidents happen within seconds….minutes….as Sherry-Leigh says….10 minutes changed their lives forever. I ask you to please be vigilant with your kids if you have a pool. Keep the gate locked, get a pool cover and teach your kids to swim as soon as possible. Also, don’t only be vigilant about your own kids, if you have kids over, keep an eye on them. If you’re at a party, keep an eye on other people’s kids if around a pool.
12 Comments
Rajshree rabikishoon toolsee
This is heart breaking but definitely an eye opener
Vannah
My heart right now💔💔
Thanks so much for telling your story Sherry-Leigh, you are an amazing, strong woman, wishing you live, light and blessings ❤️
Sherry
Thank you Vannah🌸
Luchae Williams
Your pool story had me in a flat panic… I need to get my smallies’ to swimming lessons! Hearing Calebs story, even more so! Thank you for sharing
Simone
It’s so scary Luchae…..honestly! Thanks for reading. xxx
Delmare
My heart breaks for you. I have been with you on this grieving journey since the beginning. Its been 6 years since my little girl drowned and the heartache just does not go away. I still cry for her and i always will. I wish parents can be more careful around this silent killer. If only i realised just how dangerous this black hole was. Stay strong my friend. Lots of love xxx
Simone
I say to my husband, at this rate, I just want to close our pool up with sand until my youngest is a bit older. ANd I have 2 nephews that are 23 months old that are always over….. we have a gate, but the paranoia kills me after our almost tragedy.
So sorry to you and your family for your loss. I am sure it must be one of, if not the worst, thing in the world to live through…. <3
Lynett Strydom
It’s really so sad hey … life is precious and we sometimes forget that too .
Mandy
I believe deeply that this post was perfectly timed and purposed so that Calebs legacy may indeed raise awareness and spare someone the heart ache of grieving a child – the most unnatural, unparalleled loss possible! Bless you both For a much needed reminder.
Donna Moodley
Shoh.. what a very difficult post to read.. even more so for you to share Sherry-Leigh and for you my friend to write 💔 my heart right now…
So sorry for your loss and all other families who have gone through this.
Crying as I type this. Bless your heart sherry-Leigh… you’re one brave woman. Thanks to both of you sharing 😢
Melissa Javan
So heartbreaking
Sherry
Thank you all so much for taking the time to read Calebs story and thank you for all the well wishes and prayers💗 It hasnt been an easy journey and I hope with all my heart that our story can help another family.
Simone, thank you for helping me get Calebs story out there, I never could have done it without you🌸