Does it Spark Joy? {Decluttering my life, Marie Kondo style}

Marie Kondo took Netflix and the world by storm in December/January recently! She taught us basic skills on how to declutter our homes, and in turn, declutter our lives. I find that clutter gives me anxiety… I hate dealing with it, but I hate living with it too. My husband was totally on board and he redid his wardrobe and the kids drawers and cupboards over the course of a few days. Marie’s method starts with a simple question….Does it spark joy? I was walking past my wardrobe and I saw a white top sticking out….and I thought: White top…you do NOT spark joy! You make me feel fat and claustrophobic. Away with you! I tossed it out….and that was that…..

Before we jump in, I am collaborating with my beautiful friend over at Kandidly Kerry on this post, so head over to her blog to find out what sparks joy (or not) for her.  Kerry is a Body Positive activist and she is really such a ray of sunshine, but also keeping it real with her daily struggles! So definitely go check her out! 

Does it Spark Joy?

As I said in my intro….decluttering your home can influence your life as well. There are however, many ways of decluttering. I’ve started thinking about this simple question in all parts of my life. When the kids are nagging…. You ain’t sparking joy kid, please line up with the garbage bins at 6am tomorrow promptly. Please take the actual garbage bags with you as well please…seeing as you’re going that way! Ha ha….Just kidding! Even at their worst moment, my kids are always my joy <3

Do my friends spark joy?

Guys…it’s 2019…let’s not be stuck with dead weight friends (and family members) who bring no joy to our lives. Okay…I don’t light up like a fairy light when my friends appear and squeal like a school girl….. BUT, if knowing you’re going to see certain people:

• Causes you anxiety…literally give you a knot in the pit of your stomach,
• Makes you feel like you need to be a different person in their presence,
• Who do not accept your spouse/kids/friends/family members and it hurts your soul,
• Who only like having you around so they can use you to uplift themselves,

Marie Kondo says to throw them out. Say thank you for the lesson you learned from them and the relationship, and then move on. This is very important….any relationship, good or bad…has taught us something, so be genuinely grateful for it, no matter how it ends. Either they get folded into little rectangles, or they get put into a trash bag, but gratitude always.

Does my appearance in the mirror spark joy?

For MANY of us, this will be a resounding NO! Because we’re so critical of ourselves and usually our own worst enemies. Some of us rely on others to make us feel good about ourselves, people, Instagram likes….. but in the end, only we can give ourselves that validation. If you’re not happy with your body, you can change it. You need to commit….but you are the only one that can change it. If you’re not prepared to change it, you need to make peace and accept it as it is, but berating yourself everyday about your body/appearance….it’s not going to bring you joy, or the people around you. Remember as skinny, fat, short or tall as you are…. your body allows you to go to the gym, birth children, lie on the couch, walk to the fridge for snacks….. remember that when you’re being hateful to it.

Your nose not quite what you wished for? Okay, not so easy…..unless you have cash for a nose job, which I don’t, so you know what? You’ve got to make peace. It allows you to smell…so gratitude…..

Does my job spark joy?

I’ve been feeling increasingly anxious about my job and my responsibilities at work. I have a great boss, honestly….so blessed in that regard, but my work is bringing me absolutely no joy. I come to work with a knot in my stomach… cry…. it feels like a prison. There is no other way to describe it. I mentioned to an ex colleague how I felt very briefly, and she cut me off going: Be thankful you have a job! This is rich coming from her, she left her comfortable joyless job, to pursue her passion and is now self employed! Moving on…..

Is that the bar?

Being thankful for being employed? It doesn’t matter how you get treated, it doesn’t matter how unjust some things are…it doesn’t matter that the workload is making you medicate yourself to cope? I know, the economy that we’re in, believe me, my family KNOWS as my husband job hunts! I am VERY grateful to have a good job and an understanding boss.  This is where I spend 8hrs of my day though, 5 days a week….if I feel like I’m going to prison every day….surely that’s no way to live? If I ever have the time, courage and finances to pursue my passion…..I would love to, and I would say THANK YOU to this job, that has been so good to me. However, I don’t have the option to leave my job at this stage…..so I need to work on my attitude so that I can make this a happier time for myself.

I’m not folding you into a rectangle…and I’m not saying ‘thank you’ just yet…..so I’m creating a bit of a shelf for this one and parking it. Sitting in it, learning how to create joy in my work space.

Do the people I follow on social media spark joy?

Social media is a BIG part of our lives. There’s no denying it… We start following somebody because they inspire us, we love their feed, we love their message, their bodies, their lunch packing skills…whatever the reason! As time goes by though, our interests change, our weight changes, our frame of mind changes….we have kids, we’re single…..things CHANGE! Now, seeing those people on our timeline, our feed….makes us eye roll. This is not the fault of that person…..they haven’t changed. You have! IF it doesn’t serve you anymore…..click UNFRIEND. UNFOLLOW. Or if you’re a sissy like me….’MUTE’. I am going to get there though…. That person was something to you at some point. Say thank you, and move on….

I also think as the person being unfollowed, we need to stop taking offence and realise it’s not personal.  

What does spark joy?

My family always….without a doubt! Even when I want to put them out with the trash….

This space right here….my blog, it allows me to write, be creative….A side I NEVER knew existed. I am so passionate about this space, as much as I questioned whether I would add any value on the world wide web….. I don’t anymore.

Reading…shocker, because that goes with writing…

The friends….who let me be who I am…and I have to make no apologies for that.

And wine…..

What’s sparking joy…..or draining your soul in your life? 

PS Don’t forget to go check out Kerry’s post!