Do you ‘tell on’ your kids?

I can’t be the only parent who eyerolls every time a child comes in and goes: ‘Jussie said I’m a puke face!’ ‘Molly just drank coke even though you said she can’t!‘. Something that I learnt is referred to as ‘telling on‘. We called it ‘piemp’ where I come from, but it’s 2019, and we move with the times. Parents, do your kids love to TELL ON each other?? Mine absolutely live for it! If I had a dollar for every time one of my kids ran to me yelling:

• I’m telling on!!
• Why do you have to tell on me????
• I won’t tell on you….*then proceeds to tell on with a smirk*

….. I’d be RICH and not too worried about finances! Where are the secrets that bond siblings? –  I ask them. I don’t have to worry, there will be NO secrets in my house. Perhaps an upside to this snitch mentality we have going on in home?

Being a confidante as a parent

I have a very ‘open door’ policy as part of my parenting style. My kids can literally tell me anything (even if I cringe inside, I won’t show it). As my daughter is a bit older, I do tell her there are somethings she really doesn’t have to tell me, but there are certain things I hope she would always come to me about. Bullying of any kind, if she’s gotten into trouble at school, friends being mean to her (though she handles this well by herself), etc. I will listen, give advice….and also, if she talks to me in private, the rule is, I will not tell her father. This also goes further, if she knows of friends being mean to other friends, swearing, smoking, anything she knows I don’t want her associated with. So in that, I know we have a great relationship.

The same goes for Joshua  of course, but I find girl friendships are a bit more trying and troublesome than boy friendships, so he rarely has anything private at 7 that he needs to talk about. #TrueStory

Am I a snitch?

So I am the mom my child talks to….great! Recently one of my kids came to me about homework they needed to finish for Thursday…..past…..on Sunday. This mom was puzzled and upset, because obviously it means the deadline for the homework has passed. I gave said kid the work they needed to do, and kid went to their room to finish up. I then immediately went to my husband, and told him about this delinquency. Within 5 seconds he was in the room, raining down a storm of words on said kid. I was standing in the passage, outside the room….and I kind of cringed. My first thought immediately is that kid must feel like ‘jeez mom, you couldn’t wait 5 minutes???‘. I felt like Judas….. I felt like a snitch. Not doing your homework is obviously not good, but this is not a regular occurrence so surely it could have been handled between us?

Who am I betraying?

I don’t know how my husband would have felt if I withheld the information from him….and I know my kid probably felt aggrieved. Though actually not, because I got a hug and apology maybe 3 minutes later…so there actually were no hard feelings. It did get me thinking in future though, if any of my kids get into trouble….if I can handle it, should I? Or do I have a duty to involve my spouse?

Obviously there are different levels of what is ‘secret-worthy’, but, I don’t know, I wasn’t happy with myself and the homework situation. Or maybe I wasn’t happy that hubby didn’t even give it 5 seconds before he ran in. Again maybe the whole, we’re not on the same page about disciplining issue?? I’d love for you moms to weigh in, and even if you don’t have kids…..but with the experience of being a child and being in this situation at some stage, what are your thoughts?